My take on the average blogger.
For one of my first inscriptions on the Gigglestorm blog allow me to air some hatred towards blogs and bloggers. Please separate myself and the Gigglestorm staff from any stereotypes you have established for blogs or bloggers. This blog is only a launch pad for our Challenger Space Shuttle of humorous hatred and intolerance. So without further ado, here is my REAL first blog post ever and the ground breaking of my section of the up and coming Gigglestorm.
Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that there are pretty important blogs that exists out there in the vast internet. Our service members in Iraq and Afghanistan that are sharing their experiences and well accredited writers and journalist posting stories and information quickly rather than delaying release by formal publishing make up a few of the types of people whose blogs are of value. With that credit being delivered, now it’s time to tear into the unpopular ass clowns that think what they think matters.
The blogs and, more importantly, bloggers that irritate most of us are comprised of people that lack basic (by “basic” I mean “Neanderthal”) communication skills. As people, we have advanced greatly, but it has become painfully apparent that our innovations in communication technology are actually negatively affecting our ability to communicate. Myspace, Facebook, text messaging, and even emails are changing our brains and impacting our communication patterns more so than any other means have before. Blogs however are the worst in my book. In the past I have never been caught reading any blog on a regular basis. Why? Because 99% of blogs are fucking retarded. Ever catch someone tell you “hey, I would love to talk about this more, but why don’t you check out my blog!?” or even “hey, you should read my blog!” It’s pretty much saying “hey! I am too socially inept to continue a conversation with you via the outdated means of speaking, so why not get online and look at the monotone things I type that no one gives a shit about?!” Not everyone is an author, so not everyone knows nor cares to understand that the emotion they type their retarded rants to the uncaring internet community is not picked up the same way it was put down. A joking rant can be taken as offensive. Something that was to be interpreted as stern and unpleasant can come off as hysterical and light hearted. The absolute worst is people using blogs as a means of being passive aggressive rather than benefitting anyone outside of themselves! I understand that the point of the blog I am currently a staff member of might be exactly what I just mentioned, but… get fucked, I don’t care.
I am lacking a full list of example blogs, but I have one in particular I would like for everyone to visit. I made the horrible decision to live in a bad area in my city with land lords that had no fucking clue about what being land lords involved. They are leftist, tree hugging, tofu eating, peace pushing, ignorant fuck heads that work in internet technologies. So the services they provide are contributing to an energy crisis, yet they foolishly follow their vegan diets resulting in something I can only describe as malnourished obesity in some form of offsetting their carbon footprint. The one in particular had trouble communicating naturally via speaking, hence this disgusting excuse for interaction with the outside world. I digress, please look at this blog page and post as much nasty shit as possible and use this as the staple of my point in this seemingly endless rant.
So the people that blog the most aren’t people that go out on the weekends and socialize, they’re the people that blog in between day-long sessions of world of Warcraft and stops at Trader Joe’s. These are the people that were beat up and shit on in high school and college and continued their stereotype of being losers into adulthood. Worst yet they are cluttering our internet with unvisited sites filled with daily events that no one gives a shit about. So my message to these kinds of bloggers: Kill yourself. If you don’t have the balls to do so, please understand no one cares about you or what you did today, where you moved to, your absurd take on instructing people how to do something or live their lives, what you plan to do with your life, why your life is bad, why your life is good, why you’re life is mediocre, what movie went to see and are now critiquing, why no one will ever understand you, why you’re unique, what you’re debating, what politics you follow, what color you shit is today, wondering why you’re peeing blood, or whatever other garbage you broadcast to an absent audience. Being of a greater intelligence level than thou, I understand that my statements will go on unheeded and you will continue to post your mindless nonsense in a fashion that begs for attention. Do not be confused though, no one gives a shit about your blog or you. Absorb that message and continue about your meaningless existence until you work up the courage to take my advice on suicide.
~ Jack .45 ~
Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that there are pretty important blogs that exists out there in the vast internet. Our service members in Iraq and Afghanistan that are sharing their experiences and well accredited writers and journalist posting stories and information quickly rather than delaying release by formal publishing make up a few of the types of people whose blogs are of value. With that credit being delivered, now it’s time to tear into the unpopular ass clowns that think what they think matters.
The blogs and, more importantly, bloggers that irritate most of us are comprised of people that lack basic (by “basic” I mean “Neanderthal”) communication skills. As people, we have advanced greatly, but it has become painfully apparent that our innovations in communication technology are actually negatively affecting our ability to communicate. Myspace, Facebook, text messaging, and even emails are changing our brains and impacting our communication patterns more so than any other means have before. Blogs however are the worst in my book. In the past I have never been caught reading any blog on a regular basis. Why? Because 99% of blogs are fucking retarded. Ever catch someone tell you “hey, I would love to talk about this more, but why don’t you check out my blog!?” or even “hey, you should read my blog!” It’s pretty much saying “hey! I am too socially inept to continue a conversation with you via the outdated means of speaking, so why not get online and look at the monotone things I type that no one gives a shit about?!” Not everyone is an author, so not everyone knows nor cares to understand that the emotion they type their retarded rants to the uncaring internet community is not picked up the same way it was put down. A joking rant can be taken as offensive. Something that was to be interpreted as stern and unpleasant can come off as hysterical and light hearted. The absolute worst is people using blogs as a means of being passive aggressive rather than benefitting anyone outside of themselves! I understand that the point of the blog I am currently a staff member of might be exactly what I just mentioned, but… get fucked, I don’t care.
I am lacking a full list of example blogs, but I have one in particular I would like for everyone to visit. I made the horrible decision to live in a bad area in my city with land lords that had no fucking clue about what being land lords involved. They are leftist, tree hugging, tofu eating, peace pushing, ignorant fuck heads that work in internet technologies. So the services they provide are contributing to an energy crisis, yet they foolishly follow their vegan diets resulting in something I can only describe as malnourished obesity in some form of offsetting their carbon footprint. The one in particular had trouble communicating naturally via speaking, hence this disgusting excuse for interaction with the outside world. I digress, please look at this blog page and post as much nasty shit as possible and use this as the staple of my point in this seemingly endless rant.
So the people that blog the most aren’t people that go out on the weekends and socialize, they’re the people that blog in between day-long sessions of world of Warcraft and stops at Trader Joe’s. These are the people that were beat up and shit on in high school and college and continued their stereotype of being losers into adulthood. Worst yet they are cluttering our internet with unvisited sites filled with daily events that no one gives a shit about. So my message to these kinds of bloggers: Kill yourself. If you don’t have the balls to do so, please understand no one cares about you or what you did today, where you moved to, your absurd take on instructing people how to do something or live their lives, what you plan to do with your life, why your life is bad, why your life is good, why you’re life is mediocre, what movie went to see and are now critiquing, why no one will ever understand you, why you’re unique, what you’re debating, what politics you follow, what color you shit is today, wondering why you’re peeing blood, or whatever other garbage you broadcast to an absent audience. Being of a greater intelligence level than thou, I understand that my statements will go on unheeded and you will continue to post your mindless nonsense in a fashion that begs for attention. Do not be confused though, no one gives a shit about your blog or you. Absorb that message and continue about your meaningless existence until you work up the courage to take my advice on suicide.
~ Jack .45 ~
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