Mandatory Population Control
As a precursor to this entry I would like everyone to know that I do not EVER wish to have kids. Might I some day? Absolutely! Will I be a good role model and father to this child or children? You bet your fucking ass I will be! Along with the selfish, personal reasons that I don’t wish to bring a child into this world, there are many unselfish reasons to accompany them. I don’t want to have to explain why a plane has been flown into the Sears tower. I don’t want to have to explain to my child why his or her pet died. I don’t want to have to make small talk with other parents. I don’t want to have to watch my fucking language around the kid. Mostly I don’t want to contribute to the world’s overpopulation by bringing another waste spewing, resource consuming, arrogant, obnoxious American onto this planet. So you can thank me in the comments section for refraining from following social norms and biologically engrained desires to reproduce.
Before I dive into the heart of the matter with this post, has anyone ever read Brave New World? Great book! Of course I can’t recite any of the characters, nor a lot of what happened in the book, but the purpose of the book stuck with me. See, in it, natural birth is frowned upon. The world is made up of people who are created in test tubes and women keep contraceptive on their belt and eat the shit like it’s fucking bubble gum. Now it’s easy to look at contemporary examples of test tube babies with recent developments involving a woman who is best known as “Octo Cunt,” but those events evade the utopian society’s view of acceptable recreation. The better, more lucid point that this society tries to get across is that population is controlled simply by the output of people. Unlike every society, with exception of China and the “one child rule,” we have been out of control and reproducing as if the continuation of the human race is determined by us fucking. So until we all learn that reproduction at this day in age is no longer necessary in mass quantity, I have come up with a few changes in rules and daily life to help thin the human herd if you will. :-) Enjoy!
As I was breaking many traffic laws driving home today, avoiding major congested highways and going double the speed limit on back, residential roads, I realized population control is easy! First off, school zones. Ever drive through those in the morning or afternoon as school was starting or ending? If you have, you’ve noticed the flashing speed limit signs which temporarily lower the maximum speed allowed in that area by 10 to 20 miles less than normal. As the slogan of all tobacco companies, I say, “get them while they’re young.” Figure, these are just kids! They have no idea what real problems are yet. They have bed times, they can’t eat a whole container of ice cream, and they aren’t allowed to do a lot without parental or some form of adult supervision. So I say, let’s spare them the heartache and let down that becomes life. Let’s kill them in their youth before they get a chance to really wallow in the hatred and self pity that will eventually dissolve most of them from the inside out. Rather than lower the speed limit by 10 – 20 miles an hour, I say raise it! Hell, even go up 30 miles above the normally posted speed limit. Any motorist caught not abiding the new speed limit (those going less than 10 miles over during these time periods) will be fined heavily. Those fines will stimulate our local government and provide our law enforcement officials with adequate pay and benefits, not to mention improved working conditions. Along with the hike in speed limits, I am also recommending that all stop signs within a mile radius around schools be fitted so they are retractable so they can be pulled into the ground when the kids are let out. The benefits of such programs would solve a decent amount of problems in my book. Kids will have to keep their heads on a swivel and the increased activity level will help with the childhood obesity epidemic. For motorists, the commute to work or returning home will increase in excitement and entertainment. Best of all, Darwinism will work at its finest ending the lives of clumsy motorists and fat kids! Tossing them all back within the carbon cycle. Win fucking win baby! 
Why people… WHY must a stigma of either political party be “pro life” or “pro choice.” Both of them are still bullshit. Where are the “pro abortion” people at? Well right here’s one of them! You have two white trash, black trash, green trash, whatever kind of trash people about to toss another unwanted kid to be circulated through our fucked up foster system? Ya, another violent criminal for our overcrowded prison system is just what we need! Please offer them a ride to the nearest Planned Parenthood and get that shit vacuumed out. I know you pro lifers are fuming at this point. My suggestion is: get fucked, pull your head from you colon, step out of your comfort zone, actually take a fucking look and see exactly what “every life is precious” has done with society. We have a fucking democrat in office now people, let’s take advantage of it! More abortions = more advancements in stem cell research. So we can keep the people around that we want to while preventing those in the future that no one wants, including the parents. That’s about it people. I could go on further, but I’m going to cut this one short so I can masturbate and pull together some ideas for my next piece. Thanks for reading!
Before I dive into the heart of the matter with this post, has anyone ever read Brave New World? Great book! Of course I can’t recite any of the characters, nor a lot of what happened in the book, but the purpose of the book stuck with me. See, in it, natural birth is frowned upon. The world is made up of people who are created in test tubes and women keep contraceptive on their belt and eat the shit like it’s fucking bubble gum. Now it’s easy to look at contemporary examples of test tube babies with recent developments involving a woman who is best known as “Octo Cunt,” but those events evade the utopian society’s view of acceptable recreation. The better, more lucid point that this society tries to get across is that population is controlled simply by the output of people. Unlike every society, with exception of China and the “one child rule,” we have been out of control and reproducing as if the continuation of the human race is determined by us fucking. So until we all learn that reproduction at this day in age is no longer necessary in mass quantity, I have come up with a few changes in rules and daily life to help thin the human herd if you will. :-) Enjoy!
As I was breaking many traffic laws driving home today, avoiding major congested highways and going double the speed limit on back, residential roads, I realized population control is easy! First off, school zones. Ever drive through those in the morning or afternoon as school was starting or ending? If you have, you’ve noticed the flashing speed limit signs which temporarily lower the maximum speed allowed in that area by 10 to 20 miles less than normal. As the slogan of all tobacco companies, I say, “get them while they’re young.” Figure, these are just kids! They have no idea what real problems are yet. They have bed times, they can’t eat a whole container of ice cream, and they aren’t allowed to do a lot without parental or some form of adult supervision. So I say, let’s spare them the heartache and let down that becomes life. Let’s kill them in their youth before they get a chance to really wallow in the hatred and self pity that will eventually dissolve most of them from the inside out. Rather than lower the speed limit by 10 – 20 miles an hour, I say raise it! Hell, even go up 30 miles above the normally posted speed limit. Any motorist caught not abiding the new speed limit (those going less than 10 miles over during these time periods) will be fined heavily. Those fines will stimulate our local government and provide our law enforcement officials with adequate pay and benefits, not to mention improved working conditions. Along with the hike in speed limits, I am also recommending that all stop signs within a mile radius around schools be fitted so they are retractable so they can be pulled into the ground when the kids are let out. The benefits of such programs would solve a decent amount of problems in my book. Kids will have to keep their heads on a swivel and the increased activity level will help with the childhood obesity epidemic. For motorists, the commute to work or returning home will increase in excitement and entertainment. Best of all, Darwinism will work at its finest ending the lives of clumsy motorists and fat kids! Tossing them all back within the carbon cycle. Win fucking win baby! 
Why people… WHY must a stigma of either political party be “pro life” or “pro choice.” Both of them are still bullshit. Where are the “pro abortion” people at? Well right here’s one of them! You have two white trash, black trash, green trash, whatever kind of trash people about to toss another unwanted kid to be circulated through our fucked up foster system? Ya, another violent criminal for our overcrowded prison system is just what we need! Please offer them a ride to the nearest Planned Parenthood and get that shit vacuumed out. I know you pro lifers are fuming at this point. My suggestion is: get fucked, pull your head from you colon, step out of your comfort zone, actually take a fucking look and see exactly what “every life is precious” has done with society. We have a fucking democrat in office now people, let’s take advantage of it! More abortions = more advancements in stem cell research. So we can keep the people around that we want to while preventing those in the future that no one wants, including the parents. That’s about it people. I could go on further, but I’m going to cut this one short so I can masturbate and pull together some ideas for my next piece. Thanks for reading!
~ Jack .45 ~
I have a few things to say about this post, but let me start off by saying that I agree whole-heartedly with the author's point of view.
First off, "Brave New World" is an amazing book written back in the 1930's that dealt with a hierarchical structure in society, defined by Greek letters (e.g. Alphas were the elite thinkers of society, where Gammas are the half retarded offspring resulting from alcohol being added to their incubation chambers at a certain point of their development...or resulting from Sarah Palin procreating..these people are used as the manual labor workforce. So basically, Gammas are Mexicans). In the book, people are conditioned from an early age to be desensitized to promiscuity and death...They have no concept of "love" or religion; they merely accept what the state tells them.
While this may seem cruel and control resembling a totalitarian state, it makes a valid point that the author of this blog touched upon: people can not control themselves. The "octo-cunt" is proof of that and is a wonderful example of American values at its best: create more financial burden without any forethought and then demand assistance from your fellow American.
As far as the speed limit, I couldn't agree more and it would be truly "Darwinian". Human beings became the apex species on this planet by using their intelligence to foster an environment of continual improvement; however, we don't teach our kids anything be it respect, ethical values or how to even cook for themselves. This has led to degradation in the intelligence of the entire world and we are actually regressing (See: "Idiocracy"). Removing speed limits around schools would kill off the dumb kids because they are too stupid to look both ways when crossing the path of a 4000lb death machine hurtling towards them with headlights blazing and motors roaring. Good riddance, I say.
As far as abortion, let the Pro-lifers get rid of it. I myself could give two shits about it....I am not a woman, it isn't my choice and who am I to dictate my personal beliefs on subject matters that I ultimately have no say in? Take away the option to remove these societal "Pre-cancerous cell" (i.e. unwanted future welfare cases) and people will just go back to using metal coat hangers and back-alley clinics.
I propose one final addition to our overpopulation issue: Oxygen Rations. Let us suppose that you have an IQ of 110 (slightly above average...at least it used to be). You would receive oxygen rations of 24 hours/day, meaning you are allowed to breathe all day long. If your IQ is lower then the threshold, you receive an inflatable collar, secured around your neck by the Department of Health and Human services, that would limit when you could breath by inflating and choking you. Every 6 months your IQ is reevaluated and your rations are reduced according to diminishing intelligence...so we would deprive stupid people of oxygen, making them dumber and dumber until we choke the life out of 'em and then we just bottle-necked our population into a new intellectual paradigm. And don't worry about the dumb people...they are too stupid to understand this anyway.