History of the $ Shot
AHHHHH…. The money shot. It has become a staple of a booming industry and the way every professional or home-made porn should climax. But few of us take the time to appreciate, much less ponder, the history of the money shot.
Though the money shot itself didn’t come onto the scene until civilization was quite advanced, the seeds date back as early as 10,000 B.C. Credit can be given to one Neanderthal man who went by the name of Ugg Zugg. Mr. Zugg was an innovator ahead of his time being the first to pioneer the use of weapons in foreplay, while understanding an unconscious partner made for easier insertion and overall enjoyment in the sexual theater. Being of sound mind, Ugg pieced together that repeatedly climaxing in his partner led to her becoming pregnant. Weight gain, volatile mood swings, increasing unattractiveness, and eventual destruction of vagina were reason alone to not impregnate a woman ever again. Along with the aforementioned reasons, Ugg didn’t much care for the taste of the fetus and afterbirth, or the indigestion and violent diarrhea that followed. Not long after his first baby dinner, the pull out was born and performed for the first time. Ugg looked into the eyes of his concussed partner and exclaimed “Ugg Zugg go boom boom on tum tum!” Pulling out then became the foundation of sex education at caves around the world as being successful in preventing unnecessary and unwanted procreation. Even today it still stands solid that pulling out is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (source: ME). So we have established that the only reason a penis is withdrawn from a vagina before climax is to prevent a woman from going number 4. Though excluded from bible entries, Jesus took part in pulling out as well.
It wasn’t until the French Revolution where the penis to face motion was introduced. This really isn’t a continuation of the “pull out = no pregnancy” rule, but rather the peasants were tired of French noblemen putting their penis’s on their faces in a showing of dominance and ownership. The book “A Tale of Two Abortions” explains this in great detail; however, I don’t suggest reading the book. Most who get a few chapters in either die from boredom or a self inflicted 45 caliber cranial wound. So when your girlfriend refuses to allow you to cum on her face, you can, as with most bad things, blame the French.
A combination of two things happened in the early 1900’s that began the introduction of the money shot into film. Annette Kellermann was the first female and person who exposed her nude body in motion picture. Wikipedia also says that the first porno was made in 1908, a solid 8 years before Annette exposed her perfect breast, but we all know Wikipedia lost any credibility a long time ago. In the same time period, the manliest of men, Charles White Whittlesey (who also really hated the French), returned home from WWI. After dealing with all the bullshit he had, the last thing he wanted was children! So while Charles was eating beef jerky one day and fucking one of his many partners, he came up with the great idea to pull out, but still come IN the woman. So in an acrobatic stunt, going from standard missionary position, Charles pulled out and stuck his hog in the bitch’s mouth and came.
Pornography itself predates polytheism, but the money shot and pornography didn’t collide until the end of World War 2. After enjoying a cup of tea, it has been told that Winston Churchill engaged in coitus with his hog of a wife. Following the scripture of Charles Whittlesey, Winston pulled out and went for the mouth, but, since both himself and his wife were of rotund proportions, timing was bad, and Winston shot the most powerful first string on his wife’s face. The facial and money shot were born.
I wasn’t until the 70’s when triple X porn began its boom. Again, to prevent pregnancy, the actors would pull out from their female counterparts and either climax on their stomach, or attempt to reach the mouth. From there the original intent was blurred, the money shot entered film, and people like John Holmes, Ron Jeremy, and Peter North have made their careers off of it. Now we are in an era of abuse where the money shot has lost all of its original meaning. Porn stars are shown climaxing to help visualize the male’s orgasm. Worse yet, females are beginning to get in on the action by “squirting.” To fully understand the ridiculous extreme this has been taken to please view this clip. Some men have even resorted to standing around in a circle and jerking off on one woman’s face, aptly named the “bukkake.” No appeal, no class.
The money shot is called the money shot because professional porn stars and amateurs alike that submit to the act demand more money in order for it to happen. So when your daughter is all over the internet in a couple of years with some man’s load on her face, take solace in the fact that she got paid more for it.
In all actuality, the average cost of raising a child has now skyrocketed to 250,000 dollars. The original intent of pulling out was to prevent pregnancy. From there, pulling out (preventing pregnancy) and putting it in the girl’s mouth (oh yeah, that feels good), then the misstep in between (oh whoops, sorry, I’m really drunk! What’s your name again? Nevermind, let me get you a towel so you can open your eyes, wait… keep sucking for just another… uh huh… yeah… okay, I’ll be right back) is where the facial comes from. It is, and should be, called the money shot because it’s up to you girls. You can have a 250,000 dollar investment that’s worse than buying subprime collateralized debt obligations, or you can go clean yourself up and get the fuck out of my apartment.
Though the money shot itself didn’t come onto the scene until civilization was quite advanced, the seeds date back as early as 10,000 B.C. Credit can be given to one Neanderthal man who went by the name of Ugg Zugg. Mr. Zugg was an innovator ahead of his time being the first to pioneer the use of weapons in foreplay, while understanding an unconscious partner made for easier insertion and overall enjoyment in the sexual theater. Being of sound mind, Ugg pieced together that repeatedly climaxing in his partner led to her becoming pregnant. Weight gain, volatile mood swings, increasing unattractiveness, and eventual destruction of vagina were reason alone to not impregnate a woman ever again. Along with the aforementioned reasons, Ugg didn’t much care for the taste of the fetus and afterbirth, or the indigestion and violent diarrhea that followed. Not long after his first baby dinner, the pull out was born and performed for the first time. Ugg looked into the eyes of his concussed partner and exclaimed “Ugg Zugg go boom boom on tum tum!” Pulling out then became the foundation of sex education at caves around the world as being successful in preventing unnecessary and unwanted procreation. Even today it still stands solid that pulling out is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (source: ME). So we have established that the only reason a penis is withdrawn from a vagina before climax is to prevent a woman from going number 4. Though excluded from bible entries, Jesus took part in pulling out as well.
It wasn’t until the French Revolution where the penis to face motion was introduced. This really isn’t a continuation of the “pull out = no pregnancy” rule, but rather the peasants were tired of French noblemen putting their penis’s on their faces in a showing of dominance and ownership. The book “A Tale of Two Abortions” explains this in great detail; however, I don’t suggest reading the book. Most who get a few chapters in either die from boredom or a self inflicted 45 caliber cranial wound. So when your girlfriend refuses to allow you to cum on her face, you can, as with most bad things, blame the French.
A combination of two things happened in the early 1900’s that began the introduction of the money shot into film. Annette Kellermann was the first female and person who exposed her nude body in motion picture. Wikipedia also says that the first porno was made in 1908, a solid 8 years before Annette exposed her perfect breast, but we all know Wikipedia lost any credibility a long time ago. In the same time period, the manliest of men, Charles White Whittlesey (who also really hated the French), returned home from WWI. After dealing with all the bullshit he had, the last thing he wanted was children! So while Charles was eating beef jerky one day and fucking one of his many partners, he came up with the great idea to pull out, but still come IN the woman. So in an acrobatic stunt, going from standard missionary position, Charles pulled out and stuck his hog in the bitch’s mouth and came.Pornography itself predates polytheism, but the money shot and pornography didn’t collide until the end of World War 2. After enjoying a cup of tea, it has been told that Winston Churchill engaged in coitus with his hog of a wife. Following the scripture of Charles Whittlesey, Winston pulled out and went for the mouth, but, since both himself and his wife were of rotund proportions, timing was bad, and Winston shot the most powerful first string on his wife’s face. The facial and money shot were born.
I wasn’t until the 70’s when triple X porn began its boom. Again, to prevent pregnancy, the actors would pull out from their female counterparts and either climax on their stomach, or attempt to reach the mouth. From there the original intent was blurred, the money shot entered film, and people like John Holmes, Ron Jeremy, and Peter North have made their careers off of it. Now we are in an era of abuse where the money shot has lost all of its original meaning. Porn stars are shown climaxing to help visualize the male’s orgasm. Worse yet, females are beginning to get in on the action by “squirting.” To fully understand the ridiculous extreme this has been taken to please view this clip. Some men have even resorted to standing around in a circle and jerking off on one woman’s face, aptly named the “bukkake.” No appeal, no class.The money shot is called the money shot because professional porn stars and amateurs alike that submit to the act demand more money in order for it to happen. So when your daughter is all over the internet in a couple of years with some man’s load on her face, take solace in the fact that she got paid more for it.
In all actuality, the average cost of raising a child has now skyrocketed to 250,000 dollars. The original intent of pulling out was to prevent pregnancy. From there, pulling out (preventing pregnancy) and putting it in the girl’s mouth (oh yeah, that feels good), then the misstep in between (oh whoops, sorry, I’m really drunk! What’s your name again? Nevermind, let me get you a towel so you can open your eyes, wait… keep sucking for just another… uh huh… yeah… okay, I’ll be right back) is where the facial comes from. It is, and should be, called the money shot because it’s up to you girls. You can have a 250,000 dollar investment that’s worse than buying subprime collateralized debt obligations, or you can go clean yourself up and get the fuck out of my apartment.~ Jack .45 ~
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