"It's Friday!!!"
“IT’S FRIDAY!”
It’s one of the commonly overstated things in an office environment. I get what people are going for when saying it. “Let us begin rejoicing! For Friday is upon us and soon the weekend will be ours to enjoy!” I cannot think of many things that are more annoying than someone who must always say “It’s Friday!” each and every Friday.
Let me detail for you why this simple gesture, though meant to be reassuring and friendly, is something that makes me want to peel my skin off with a small cheese grater:
1) You know why every day of the week sucks so much? Because the days have a conspiracy to take revenge on those who work the Monday – Friday, 9-5. Everyone focuses on “Friday,” and “Friday’s coming,” and “is it Friday yet,” and then finally “IT’S FRIDAY!” No one ever says “IT’S FUCKING MONDAY! WOOO!” NO! Monday is spoken of like it’s a one day, malignant, cancerous tumor on the weekly calendar. Everyone hates Mondays because Monday hates everyone. The rest of the days hate everyone too, just incrementally less as the week progresses.
2) By stating the obvious that the day is indeed Friday you are being condescending to your coworkers in assuming they don’t know what day it is. This can lead to a discomforting office environment. Like… what? I didn’t know that already? Pretty sure everyone wearing jeans for casual Friday is well aware that it’s Friday. Figure 1 explains how I counteract this overused comment with a technique I call Mirrored Awkwardness.
3) Reminding someone that freedom is close will only prolong the arrival of it. Starting the day at 7am with someone in your face going “It’s FRIDAY” would be like having told Nelson Mandela he’s “going to be president soon” after his first year of being in jail.
4) You really… have nothing better… to say. Why don’t you just tell me to fuck myself? Better yet, when I say “Hey! How are you doing today?” you should respond with “Shut the fuck up, TEMP!” Yeah, that’ll put me in my place. Much better than “It’s Friday!”
5) When one takes it upon him or herself to inform the group or an individual that the weekend is within reach, that would normally come along with an invite to or a description of events taking place in the near future. I hate all of my coworkers so why the fuck would I give the slightest shit stain as to what they have plans to do? I don’t. I’m going to enjoy MY weekend, you can get in a fucking car accident for all I care.
The reforms that would have to take place in order to make saying “It’s Friday” an acceptable thing to say are unachievable. Please refrain from telling those around you what day it is when no one has inquired for such information. And with that I will tell all of you to fuck yourselves because it’s Friady. Jack… OUT!
~ Jack .45 ~
It’s one of the commonly overstated things in an office environment. I get what people are going for when saying it. “Let us begin rejoicing! For Friday is upon us and soon the weekend will be ours to enjoy!” I cannot think of many things that are more annoying than someone who must always say “It’s Friday!” each and every Friday.
Let me detail for you why this simple gesture, though meant to be reassuring and friendly, is something that makes me want to peel my skin off with a small cheese grater:
1) You know why every day of the week sucks so much? Because the days have a conspiracy to take revenge on those who work the Monday – Friday, 9-5. Everyone focuses on “Friday,” and “Friday’s coming,” and “is it Friday yet,” and then finally “IT’S FRIDAY!” No one ever says “IT’S FUCKING MONDAY! WOOO!” NO! Monday is spoken of like it’s a one day, malignant, cancerous tumor on the weekly calendar. Everyone hates Mondays because Monday hates everyone. The rest of the days hate everyone too, just incrementally less as the week progresses.
2) By stating the obvious that the day is indeed Friday you are being condescending to your coworkers in assuming they don’t know what day it is. This can lead to a discomforting office environment. Like… what? I didn’t know that already? Pretty sure everyone wearing jeans for casual Friday is well aware that it’s Friday. Figure 1 explains how I counteract this overused comment with a technique I call Mirrored Awkwardness.
3) Reminding someone that freedom is close will only prolong the arrival of it. Starting the day at 7am with someone in your face going “It’s FRIDAY” would be like having told Nelson Mandela he’s “going to be president soon” after his first year of being in jail.
4) You really… have nothing better… to say. Why don’t you just tell me to fuck myself? Better yet, when I say “Hey! How are you doing today?” you should respond with “Shut the fuck up, TEMP!” Yeah, that’ll put me in my place. Much better than “It’s Friday!”
5) When one takes it upon him or herself to inform the group or an individual that the weekend is within reach, that would normally come along with an invite to or a description of events taking place in the near future. I hate all of my coworkers so why the fuck would I give the slightest shit stain as to what they have plans to do? I don’t. I’m going to enjoy MY weekend, you can get in a fucking car accident for all I care.
The reforms that would have to take place in order to make saying “It’s Friday” an acceptable thing to say are unachievable. Please refrain from telling those around you what day it is when no one has inquired for such information. And with that I will tell all of you to fuck yourselves because it’s Friady. Jack… OUT!
~ Jack .45 ~
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