I BUY ALL CAT



It doesn't take too long or too much reading of our Corporate Coggery articles to understand some of our contributors have A LOT of time to kill at work.  Couple that with some inspiration from www.dontevenreply.com and you have the following:

Original Ad:
Kittens
3 kittens 10$are each one black and white one, grey and white,orange



From Me (Negun Yu Vu) to *************9@gmail.com:
I buy all cat
How much you want

From Thomas to ME:
I got 4 u can have for 20

From Me to Thomas:
Are they all same flavor

From Thomas to ME:
What do u mean

From Me to Thomas:
Cat for dinner
Yum
Are all cat you have same taste

From Thomas to ME:
U use them for u Pitt huh lol bit there's one black orange and one grey and white

From Me to Thomas:
Yes
sound delicious
What address
i come buy cat tonight

From Thomas to ME:
Bro if your gonna kill them I'm charging u 60 for the 3 I have left

From Me to Thomas:
Price outrageous
I give you 5 dollar for each cat
what address
I buy tonight

From Thomas to ME:
fuck that if your gonna kill them then your fittin to pay way more

From Me to Thomas:
What address
i come buy cat tonight
I give you 30 dollar for all cat

From Thomas to ME:
Ill do 30 if u can Come like between 1-4

From Me to Thomas:
Great
What address

From Thomas to ME:
Ill meet u at Walmart in east ******** ohio

From Me to Thomas:
Walmart 1 pm
we meet

From Thomas to ME:
Okay how far away are u from there

From Me to Thomas:
1 hour
I leave now
Meet you at parking
i drive big brown van
bye
you leave now

From Thomas to ME:
I drive a purple eclipes


(some time later)
From Thomas to ME:
Hello


(my "DAUGHTER" begins to email... you know, since I don't have a phone)
From My Daughter to Thomas:
Hi
So my dad just called me from a pay phone near a walmart and told me to check his email. He said you were supposed to meet him. Are you there?
He sounded mad. Can you tell me where you are and I can have him find you?

From Thomas to My Daughter:
Yes were by jc pennys
In a purple eclipse

From My Daughter to Thomas:
I dialed the number my dad called me from and it just kept ringing. I will try again. He said he was on a pay phone.

From Thomas to My Daughter:
There is no brown van here he might be at the wrong Walmart I been here for 2 hours

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Hello.
He answered the phone this time. He said he parked near ponderosa steak house. It is a large brown van.
He said he wants you to drive near ponderosa. Then he wants you to get in the parking lot and do 5 circles with your car so he knows it is you. Afterwards he wants you to step out of the car and do exactly 5 jumping jacks so he knows you are not police. He has been in trouble before. Do 6 jumping jacks if police are with you.
He say he pay 30 for cats.
Thanks you!

From Thomas to My Daughter:
Yes we did they is no van!!! Like I'm getting pissed I'm leaving in 10 mins so if he wants the fucking cat he better come now

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Are you in ponderosa parking lot? Did you circle five times and do jumping jacks? My dad will be very angry if he does not get cats.
Are you sure you didn't do 6 jumping jacks?

From Thomas to My Daughter:
We left!! I'm going to sheets so he can go there if he wants these fucking cats!!!


(After Sheetz)
From Thomas to My Daughter:
Ill do this one more time!!

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Are you at sheetz or ponderosa?!

From Thomas to My Daughter:
We left...


(Some time later)
From Me to Thomas:
ASSHOLE
i wait for you five hour
you no do jumping jacks
keep cat
you asshole!

From Thomas to ME:
Fuck u dude I was in fucking ponderosa for 2 hours I did the shit u fucking said so go some where bitch! !

From Me to Thomas:
YOU CUSS AT DAUGHTER!
YOU ASSHOLE
KEEP CAT


From Thomas to ME:
Sure did Nigga fuck u

~ Jack .45 ~

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