Gay Marriage Is For Faggots


Aside from being terribly redundant with this post's title, the point is being concerned over what other people do with their lives is something ignorant faggots do and it has no fucking place within our political theater other than concerns over taxes. 

So yeah, the idiotic United States election season is in full swing after the laughable Republican primary has finally all but closed.  Side note: I still hope Ron Paul gets enough delegates to embarrass dickhead, elitist, out of touch, MORMAN, Romeny.  Just recently the people in North Carolina who hardly know how to read, let alone vote, have decided to amend their constitution so that a marriage or civil unions can only be between a man and a woman.  Around the same time period Joe Biden jumped the gun and claimed he is "comfortable" with gay marriage.  Golf clap.   I'm sure he got a talkin' to from his boss who then said "fuck it" came out himself and said "I think faggots and dykes should be able to be as miserable as the rest of us," or something like that.

Let's break down the two sides of this argument:
Those who oppose gay marriage:



  
AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE
The main reason many Americans oppose gay marriage is because their religious belief system has indoctrinated them into only accepting any type of marriage or union to be between a man and a woman.  In a non bias way of saying it they are traditionalist.  Nothing wrong with that.

The issue with opposing gay marriage:
You SERIOUSLY have nothing else going on in your life that you have to focus on making sure other people aren't given the right to be happy?  Because you sit in a pew every Sunday (or longer, or on other days, who cares) and pray to a god (notice I didn't capitalize it) who doesn't FUCKING exist, you're all high and mighty and think you're his fucking mouth piece and from said mouth piece you shout "GOD HATES FAGGOTS, MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!"  Good for you.

The majority of people who staunchly oppose gay marriage are some denomination of Christianity.  Like the late George Carlin, I too was brought up Catholic until I reached the age of reason so I know how some of these idiots think.  You focus so much of your time and energy making sure other people aren't happy.  When have you ever dedicated any of your time helping the sick and meek?  Pretty sure you should be worrying about them since they are the ones who will inherit the earth right?  Yeah!  I'm not just talking out of my ass about your shitty religion.  Then you have the whole "marriage is sacred" argument.  It isn't and here is why:





 The biggest thing is rather than come to terms with someone else's differences you do whatever you can to make sure they can't enjoy the same liberties you do.  So you can go ahead and wave your American flag at whatever Republican Bible thumping rally you attend, but thoughts like that don't make you American, they make you a fucking asshole and you should be ashamed that instead of embracing someone's differences you would rather focus all of your effort ensuring they can't do what they want.  Same goes for pot smokers.  I'll finish this section with somebody's quote since I can't say it better myself.


 Those who advocate gay marriage:






FOR GAY MARRIAGE
Now you have the gays and lesbians and the rainbows and unicorns that want to get married.  Good for you guys!  You have every right to be happy, but just because I'm writing this doesn't mean I want to go to your wedding, get hit on by a man, be made uncomfortable by a dyke, suck a dick, or take one in the butt.  That's gross yo.

The issue with supporting gay marriage:
Really don't have one other than you're another set of people who are going to get a tax break and help expand our country's debt.  You sure you want to take the life you have and just ruin it like all this miserable married people?  Here is Steven Colbert's take on the matter:





The Point:
Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you have the right to prevent someone else from enjoying it.  We're at war in the middle east because of not accepting people's differences and by letting our differences separate us we will keep hate strong for generations to come.  So why don't we blaze a few fatties and let these faggots get married?  This nation was founded on a lot on principles and of those the most important is the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Not just for some, but for everyone!  We cannot and should not waste time and money debating social issues endlessly.  There will always be people for gay marriage and people against it.  We have a lot more important shit to focus on this coming election season so let the social issues be what they are and when you vote do it for the person who's going to get shit done.  Not for someone who runs around in a sweater vest preaching about gays and making sex special again.  Fuck you Rick Santorum!


~ Jack .45 ~

Dream Job... uhuh


The asshole/hardass/special forces/seal team 6 member who posted this piece of shit job on a local board took the original ad down, but the title should give away the content pretty easily:

Original Ad Title:
SALES PROS DREAM JOB

 From Me (Francoise Versailles) to b*****@yahoo.com
I had diarrhea last month.  I had to shit all fuckin day.

From Robert to Me:
And you are telling me this why?

From Me to Robert:
Because I felt you really needed to know. Your Monday will be so much better after I describe the corn kernels floating in a viscous brown sludge. The aroma was enlightening, it opened my sinuses right up.


From Robert to Me:
You're a real winner clown! Original too lol... With so many of you jockeying for position on the web you will be pleased to know that your comments don't really measure up.

From Me to Robert:
Who wants a shitty commission based sales position. I'd rather blow my St Bernard.

Come Here Bethoven!!!

 From Robert to Me:
You are an idiot kid! Stop wasting my time b fore you find yourself in a situation you regret. Everything is not what it seems to be guy, but now that I have your ip address and exact location I can certainly show you better than I can tell you. 18 Foxtrot, look it up. You do know what covert ops is don't you. Do yourself a favor, 2 actually. Get a job, and walk away from this.

From Me to Robert:
Oooh! I'm really scared! Are you pretending to be some commando? Or were you kicked out of the military for being a homosexual? You are so full of shit! I'm going to take a picture of my shit this afternoon and send it to you as a reminder of how full of shit you are.

From Robert to Me:
no, what you are gonna do is spend the next 30 days wondering when you will see us. looking forward to it. FYI...commandos are pussies.



 (And again...)
From Robert to Me:
also, we don't want you to be "scared"... we just want you

 From Me to Robert:
Oh so you are a flaming homosexual. I can't wait to get raped by your pixie ass.

From Me to Robert (attachment):
I just wanted to remind you how full of shit you are.

 


From Me to Robert (attachment part deux):
This reminded me of you (see attached).
You're a fucking dumb cunt lol.
Fuck your retarded pyramid scheme commission only job for monkey retards to do. Guess that's why you're doing this shit instead of something that matters.

 Actual Shit I Took at Work
 
Still waiting to hear back from this guy!

- Phallic J -


I BUY ALL CAT



It doesn't take too long or too much reading of our Corporate Coggery articles to understand some of our contributors have A LOT of time to kill at work.  Couple that with some inspiration from www.dontevenreply.com and you have the following:

Original Ad:
Kittens
3 kittens 10$are each one black and white one, grey and white,orange



From Me (Negun Yu Vu) to *************9@gmail.com:
I buy all cat
How much you want

From Thomas to ME:
I got 4 u can have for 20

From Me to Thomas:
Are they all same flavor

From Thomas to ME:
What do u mean

From Me to Thomas:
Cat for dinner
Yum
Are all cat you have same taste

From Thomas to ME:
U use them for u Pitt huh lol bit there's one black orange and one grey and white

From Me to Thomas:
Yes
sound delicious
What address
i come buy cat tonight

From Thomas to ME:
Bro if your gonna kill them I'm charging u 60 for the 3 I have left

From Me to Thomas:
Price outrageous
I give you 5 dollar for each cat
what address
I buy tonight

From Thomas to ME:
fuck that if your gonna kill them then your fittin to pay way more

From Me to Thomas:
What address
i come buy cat tonight
I give you 30 dollar for all cat

From Thomas to ME:
Ill do 30 if u can Come like between 1-4

From Me to Thomas:
Great
What address

From Thomas to ME:
Ill meet u at Walmart in east ******** ohio

From Me to Thomas:
Walmart 1 pm
we meet

From Thomas to ME:
Okay how far away are u from there

From Me to Thomas:
1 hour
I leave now
Meet you at parking
i drive big brown van
bye
you leave now

From Thomas to ME:
I drive a purple eclipes


(some time later)
From Thomas to ME:
Hello


(my "DAUGHTER" begins to email... you know, since I don't have a phone)
From My Daughter to Thomas:
Hi
So my dad just called me from a pay phone near a walmart and told me to check his email. He said you were supposed to meet him. Are you there?
He sounded mad. Can you tell me where you are and I can have him find you?

From Thomas to My Daughter:
Yes were by jc pennys
In a purple eclipse

From My Daughter to Thomas:
I dialed the number my dad called me from and it just kept ringing. I will try again. He said he was on a pay phone.

From Thomas to My Daughter:
There is no brown van here he might be at the wrong Walmart I been here for 2 hours

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Hello.
He answered the phone this time. He said he parked near ponderosa steak house. It is a large brown van.
He said he wants you to drive near ponderosa. Then he wants you to get in the parking lot and do 5 circles with your car so he knows it is you. Afterwards he wants you to step out of the car and do exactly 5 jumping jacks so he knows you are not police. He has been in trouble before. Do 6 jumping jacks if police are with you.
He say he pay 30 for cats.
Thanks you!

From Thomas to My Daughter:
Yes we did they is no van!!! Like I'm getting pissed I'm leaving in 10 mins so if he wants the fucking cat he better come now

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Are you in ponderosa parking lot? Did you circle five times and do jumping jacks? My dad will be very angry if he does not get cats.
Are you sure you didn't do 6 jumping jacks?

From Thomas to My Daughter:
We left!! I'm going to sheets so he can go there if he wants these fucking cats!!!


(After Sheetz)
From Thomas to My Daughter:
Ill do this one more time!!

From My Daughter to Thomas:
Are you at sheetz or ponderosa?!

From Thomas to My Daughter:
We left...


(Some time later)
From Me to Thomas:
ASSHOLE
i wait for you five hour
you no do jumping jacks
keep cat
you asshole!

From Thomas to ME:
Fuck u dude I was in fucking ponderosa for 2 hours I did the shit u fucking said so go some where bitch! !

From Me to Thomas:
YOU CUSS AT DAUGHTER!
YOU ASSHOLE
KEEP CAT


From Thomas to ME:
Sure did Nigga fuck u

~ Jack .45 ~